Michael White

One Moment

mikewhitejr — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 11:25:10 +0000

Very few things crystallize the minds of a person better than tragedy, loss or grief. This weekend, my dad was admitted to the hospital with what started out as back pain and became a serious issue relating to his heart. He’s ok (thanks for asking), but on Monday night, I sat on my porch and pondered the value of my relationship with him and how much of who we are as believers and people in general is directly related to the people we spend the most or most definitive time around.

My parents divorced when i was 2.5 so I have no memories of us being a family, eating dinner together, or opening presents. What I do remember is the time I had with both parents, their love and their devotion to me. And that is what counts more than any thing else.

One moment defines my dad and I….it goes back to 1994…

I was a senior in high school, and my dad and i had gotten into a semi-physical altercation. As i lay on my stomach with his knee in my back he asked me very sternly..

‘Mikee….what do u want from me?’

My response to him….’I want u to be there like every other dad…i want to look in the stands and see u cheering me on…rooting for me….’

My father’s response was the defining moment…He said…’

‘do u remember that game against MUS (local prep school), when they threw the touchdown over your head (I was playing safety) to win the game…[i said yes]…he went on…’i was there…i saw it…i was there… since you got here, i havent missed a game, i’ve cheered you on…i’ve watched you play…i’ve been your biggest fan’…..

My response..’so why didnt i see u’

His response….’b/c i didnt want u to put more pressure on yourself b/c i was there…i wanted u to enjoy the game…not perform to make me happy…i was proud of u, before u played…i was proud of u while u hurt for losing the game..and i’m proud of u….b/c i’m your dad….

In life friends, we get moments that define not only who we are but what we are. That moment of clarity helped to do more than define our relationship, it also defined who i am today…we can live life with cheerleaders…or with people on our team….my dad chose to join my team….b/c he knew that cheerleading was for the sidelines! Loveya Dad!

Survive and Thrive

Eyes Wide Open

mikewhitejr — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 09:59:40 +0000

Have you ever opened your eyes to the dreaded,’day after’? It is the morning that comes after a painful, turbulent night. You sit there, laying flat, face up to the ceiling knowing that you spent half the night crying and the other half wishing it was all just a dream. But it wasn’t a dream and it did happen. The pain is real. The regret is real. And it is not going away any time soon. When life happens how you navigate the ‘day after’ is huge.

Life has a way of allowing the sun to shine on the darkest of days. But the job of the sun when it rises is to give you enough light to see. The question is, as you stare out into the crevices of your ceiling and watch that ceiling fan go round and round and round again, what exactly do you see?

Survive and Thrive

Rewriting Your Life

mikewhitejr — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 13:57:58 +0000

I used to sit along the banks of the Mississippi and watch the sun set, wishing my life would do the same. As the day turned to dusk and eventually to dark, I saw my own life, spiraling out of control and towards a place I had no desire for it to go to. I had not learned that how I dealt with the night and approached the day determined what happened in my life. The end of the story of my life had not been written yet.

When you’re sitting in your life and you’re wondering how to rewrite your life, realize that the page you’re living cannot be rewritten. The truth is, the only rewrite that you can do is the page that hasn’t been written at all. Today the story may be leaning to a tragic, downward spiral but you have the choice to change the ending… The decisions you make today will help determine how the rest of the story goes. One decision could absolutely change your life. Trust me… One decision…One choice…made the difference for me….and my life has been life-changing ever since…

Survive and Thrive…

Seasons

mikewhitejr — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 09:55:16 +0000

We recognize that the season is changing from summer to fall by the leaves transforming from green to brown and from the days cooling from hot to mild and mild to cool…. But these are just the signs of the change, the effects of change..but they are not change..in life, the effects of change in you are usually more obvious than the change themselves. If you had no calendar and lived like the caveman you would only know the summer was over by the effects of change and not the change themselves. In life, it is a similar undertaking. When our life begins a complete renovation it is only the effects of change that give us an indication that change has taken place. When the signs of change are evident we recognize that change has taken place. But the reality is, change started many days prior but it was only at that point that the change was able to express itself that we were actually witnesses to the change themselves.

So take some time and stop being so hard on yourself.

Change is a process that requires time and patience.

Rome was not built in a day…and neither is authentic life-change.

Survive and thrive…

Acceptance

mikewhitejr — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 10:33:42 +0000

One of the hardest things life requires of us is accepting life. Whether it is accepting the unexpected loss of a loved one, accepting a business failure or a personal one. Everyday, life stares us down and says, ‘this happened’. And for many people, agreeing that the tragic, dark moments of life actually took place requires us to feel the emotional brokenness that is attached to those moments. As long as we live in denial and refuse to acknowledge life, we continue to ignore the raw emotions we know are laying just below the surface of our lives.

However, a life lived in denial is no life at all. I know this guy and one day while faced with a daunting choice, he made the wrong decision. This decision had huge consequences attached to it. And for the longest time he chose to act like life had not happened and his decision had not been made. But as long as he lived life like that he was paralyzed in time, suspended in the netherworld of ‘pending pain’. Whether we learn to accept life instantly, gradually or not at all, the reality is, until we come to grips and terms with the pains of life, our refusal to accept them blocks the door from us healing and moving on beyond them.

As I have learned over time, falling into the ocean has never killed anyone. Staying there has.

Survive and Thrive

Ambition

mikewhitejr — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:14:56 +0000

When I started writing this morning I really wanted to talk about ambition. But for some reason, my talk on ambition turned to my own insecurities as a young adult as I battled depression and loneliness. It is amazing to be surrounded by thousands of people every day and be lonely. It is a gut-wrenching place to be when you feel alone.

After the accident I remember sitting on my grandmother’s bed and starting to cry. And no one understood why. Not even me to be honest. The truth was that I was alone in a world of pain and shame. How had I fallen so low? How had this happened? It was a painful reality to face the man in the mirror that day. And it is something we all face every day when we wake up staring at someone we do not recognize anymore. When was the last time you took a cold, hard look at yourself and said, ‘i like me’…. yep….me2

There is something to take away from the reflections in the glass. Have you ever been to an art gallery and watched someone really describe the creativity of a painting? I have and I never see what they see. And the reason I cannot is because I’m not an artist and my vantage point is completely different than someone who has a love and deep appreciation for painting. So when we begin to judge ourselves, what we are doing is trying to develop an appreciation for something without the love and appreciation that is required to define the value of ourselves.

Which is where my faith became huge. The first time I read the words, ‘you have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you’, it completely changed my life. the fact that God picked me…loved me…cherished me….valued me….meant that He saw something in me that I had never seen in myself.

Survive and Thrive

Paying Attention

mikewhitejr — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 11:04:37 +0000

One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was the craft of paying attention. I call it a craft because it is easy to think that paying attention refers to any conversation that we have. My mom used to ask us, ‘are you paying attention to me’? And as kids, we always responded that we were, knowing that our minds were a million miles away from the conversation she was having.

In life, conversations are constantly going on. The door that you have been trying to pry open remains closed. And you’re fighting to get it open. When in reality God has spoken but you weren’t paying attention. When you’re stirred awake at 3am three days in a row and you call it indigestion or some other malady when the reality is, your mind needs to talk and your heart needs to listen. Pay attention!

You must live life with the awareness that communication is constantly going on. You have to have an ear to hear what is being said. When the birds chirp, the wind blows, the horn honks and your feet whine. Are you listening? Or, are you a million miles away paying attention to something that is oblivious to your existence?

Survive and Thrive!

Seeing the Light

mikewhitejr — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 00:50:57 +0000

It is true that the darkest part of the night is the time immediately before the sun begins its daily rise above us. Whether it is possible to see the glimmer of the sun is reserved for those people willing to be awake at the time of day when this actually takes place. How many people are sleeping during the night, hoping that when they open their eyes again, the terror of the dark will be gone and the light of a new day will have dawned?

After the accident, I wanted to leapfrog being stared at, broken by the terse gaze of people. It was my darkness. And the truth is that I learned during that time how impossible it was and is to evade the dark. It comes every day to the world around us.

Yet life does some of its best work when the light isn’t shining. What you must now choose to do is not fear the dark but embrace the light that is slowy erasing the darkness of your life. It does not happen immediately. The sun does not move at warp speed. It is gradual, continual and of its own accord. But before you know it, you will be able to see the light has overtaken the dark, and everything is alright….

Survive and Thrive!

What’s Your Platform

mikewhitejr — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 00:55:47 +0000

What’s your hook? It’s a question I was asked once in a conversation when we were laying the foundation for ministry back in Memphis. The questions wasn’t about a location, a building or a demographic. It was about the singular word that comes from my soul that permeates the world we live in. For me, that word is LifeChange. It is what I live and breathe.

For me, I see platforms in terms of your purpose and God’s intention for why you are on Earth, right here, right now. If He needed you in 2040, you’d be grappling with life in 2040. The reality is, you have this moment to clarify why you’re here, the platform God has given you and the channel or vehicle through which that platform is communicated to the world. Is this just for people in ministry and leadership? Absolutely not! Everyone has a platform.

Protecting Your Assets

mikewhitejr — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 09:54:10 +0000

I watched a bit of the NE Patriots game last night and saw Tom Brady on the ground because his protection had failed him. As the most important asset on the field, Tom Brady, one of the game’s best quarterbacks, was left unprotected and therefore received a hard hit from the opposing team. And that got me to thinking…

How much pain do we suffer because we fail to protect our assets? Your soul, your heart, your intellect and your emotions are all assets that when healthy help you to perform better. When they are left unprotected you leave them open to attacks and blitzes. It happens everyday. Proverbs speaks of protecting wisdom, cherishing her like a valuable stone. Why is that? Because wisdom is an asset. You cannot live life mistreating or neglecting assets in your life.

Last year, the NE Patriots lost Tom Brady early in the season because of a knee injury. Whether his injury could have been avoided or not is debatable. What is not debatable though is the mandate given from the coach to those linemen. PROTECT THE QUARTERBACK!

And you should do the same…

Survive and Thrive!